MISSING OUT ON WHAT IS IN FRONT OF YOU

For the past 13 years, I've lived exactly 7 minutes away from Maybury, which is a state park located in Northville, Michigan. It covers almost 1,000 acres and it offers trails for walking, bike paths and a large pond fixed with docks to fish on or simply sit and enjoy the scenery from. And if you're really adventurous, you even have the option to go horseback riding. Maybury is quite a gem but in all the years of living nearby, it never dawned on me to take advantage of all it has to offer.

Usher in 2020 and Covid-19. With gyms in Michigan still closed due to this virus, I found myself needing to find an alternative way to get my cardio workouts in. So recently, I began taking trips to Maybury. At first, I would simply walk the roughly mile long trail that surrounds the pond. I'm a creature of habit so initially, I stayed on the main path. Additionally, I struggled to enjoy the experience as the simplicity and the silence of being in the woods actually made me anxious. But it wasn't long before I became comfortable in the park surroundings and was desiring to explore a little. I began to deviate from the main trail which took me deeper and deeper into the woods. And with each visit to the park, I explored a little more and soon realized how wonderful being in the woods was. First, there was no shortage of beautiful scenery to take in. Second, there was stillness and silence just waiting to be enjoyed. But unfortunately for me, my anxious mind absolutely despises both stillness and silence. It's often too busy to be tied down with the details of the here and now and it tends to regularly drift off into the future. At any given moment, my mind is thinking of a dozen things simultaneously. I'm so preoccupied with future events and getting "to do" lists completed that I often waste the wonder and beauty of what’s in front of me.

But as the visits to Maybury became more and more frequent, something of significance began to emerge. I found that my restless mind enjoyed getting lost along the walking trails. The more time I spent alone in the woods, the more I began to feel at ease in the silence. It wasn't long before making daily trips to Maybury became a daily priority for me. Fast forward to this past weekend. I visited the park later in the evening than I normally go and when I arrived, there were only about five vehicles left in the parking lot. And during my walk, I didn't come across a single person. So with seemingly nobody else around, I took a more carefree approach as I sang worship songs out loud while I aimlessly walked around. I veered off the path I typically walk and then stopped to catch my breath. I was now standing in an open space surrounded by large trees that all but shielded the trail I was on from any sunlight. I was completely present and focused on the moment. I stared at the enormity of the trees and as I followed the trunk upward toward the sky, I found myself staring into the Heavens, in a somewhat surrendered posture before the Lord. Just then, a slight glimmer of sunlight managed to make its way through the top of the trees. It was as if there was a Heavenly flash light shining down through the trees on top of me, bringing with it a peaceful presence. It was the presence of the Lord. I was certain of it. And I stood there motionless, wanting to take in every second of the experience.

When the moment had past, I continued on my walk, very relaxed and as calm as I had been in months. About an hour later, feeling completely at peace, I decided it was time to go home. As I walked down the dirt road toward the wider section of the parking lot, I noticed something concerning. My car was missing. I started to feel my heart beat faster and the jitters of worry flooded my mind. Within a few seconds, I was overwhelmed with anxiety as I once again scanned through the remaining cars parked in the distance. My car was nowhere to be found, nor was the calming presence I had been enjoying for the past hour. Fear and anxiety had stolen my peace and had all but consumed me as I stood there wondering what I should do. Just as I was about to go into full panic mode, I looked to my immediate left and realized I was standing next to my car, literally. My car was no more than 10 feet to my left.

As the fear and worry of a potentially stolen car subsided, I began to focus on how my emotional state of mind had unraveled in a matter of seconds. As I replayed the events leading up to the anxiety, the conversation I began with myself about what had just happened turned toward God. "What the heck, God. What is wrong with me? Why do I get so easily panicked over dumb stuff?" Right on cue, the Holy Spirit began to speak:

"You are so focused on what is in the distance that you have a tendency to overlook what is right in front of you. When your focus is in the future and not in the present, you completely miss my presence. And when you miss my presence, you miss my peace. And that is often the cause of your anxiety. You need only look at what just happened with your car to see how this mindset plays out in your life."

As I began to digest God's words, it was as if God started to replay so many events in my life. Vacations that were spent counting down the days until they were over instead of enjoying each day's activities. Rounds of golf with friends spent thinking about what traffic would be like on the way home or what work emails I needed to respond to. Summers spent dreading the start of the new school year instead of making memories. And on and on the flashbacks came. When they finally ended, it was a sad reality check of just how much of my life had been missed because it was spent focused on the future. And above all, I began to think about how much of God's presence I had probably missed over the years because I didn't allow my mind to stay in the present.

I reflected on how that day's trip to the park had panned out. It was such a roller coaster and it spanned both ends of my emotional spectrum. From peace and tranquility to anxious and fearful. It's interesting how God will often use the most random events in my life to teach me something of value. And this day was no different. I nearly had a panic attack because my vision was so far into the distance that I could not see what was right next to me. So I'm going to challenge myself to stop focusing so much on the future and the "what ifs" of life. I'm going to make it a priority to live in the here and now. I don't want to miss any more opportunities to make beautiful memories. And just like my car, I certainly don't want to be so focused and panicked on what is in the distance that I completely miss that my God and His peace, are right next to me.

† let the light in †